The Ryan Halligan Story

This is a very moving story provided by Frontline about Ryan Halligan, a 7th grader, who committed suicide after being bullied for more than a couple of years. This is a classic example of the NEW kind of bullying today -- called cyber bullying.

It used to be that kids only had to contend with bullying while they were attending school. That is bad enough. But now, with Facebook, My Space, instant messaging, chat rooms, text messaging and emails, kids can be bombarded with ugly messages 24/7 with no where to hide and get relief. In Ryan's case, kids called him gay and constantly sent "homophobic" messages. If that wasn't bad enough, Ryan believed he had met on line, one of the girls from his school and liked him. When he finally had the courage to ask her out in person, she humiliated him in front of his friends, calling him a loser? The online relationship was just a "set up" to belittle him.

Personally, I love Facebook. It is such a great tool to connect with people in your family as well as friends from year's past. But this new technology, does have risks. In the case of Ryan Halligan, he couldn't take the constant abuse and killed himself.

I know there may be a lot of parents reading this, saying, I don't know how to use a computer or any of the new technology that the kids are using. PLEASE do not use this as an EXCUSE. If your child's well being and safety are a concern; learn about the computer and the internet. It is not as hard as you think.

Remember, the most important tool you have is your voice. Ask questions and take an active interest in your child. Take the time to know who his or her friends are. Check on them routinely when they are on the computer.

If they complain about privacy, tell them you are going to get a software program that logs every click of the mouse or keystroke. This software is available and easy to install.

As parents, we have to help our children fight this nasty problem, that continues to grow everyday. Don't wait until it is too late!

Get involved.

Now, before you accuse me of being a censor or home police, just remember that you are responsible for their well being, and sometimes, as parents we have to do things that make us uncomfortable. But is what being a parent is all about, yes? Let them complain about lack of privacy! In my experience with my boys, if they don't have anything to hide, the privacy issue is a mute point!

If you still feel uncomfortable because you don't know much about computers, there are plenty of software programs that can be easily installed that can track every click of the mouse, every stroke of a key. If you worry about their privacy, tell them up front you are installing software that will track everything they do.

Or, you could handle it the good old fashion way -- sit down and talk to your child and make sure you have an open line of communication and don't be afraid to discuss a sensitive topic like this.

We must do all we can to stop this issue before more children feel they have no alternative but to commit suicide.

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Sensei Chris Feldt

Samurai Karate Studio
2000 Clemson Road
Suite # 9
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425
samuraikarate@bellsouth.net
www.samuraikaratestudio.net